The lack of sexual desire or the loss of it is also termed “inhibited sexual desire”. It is among the most frequent reasons to visit a sexologist. That is why, it is a problem that has been studied a lot in recent years.
According to the latest data, this problems is found more in women (between 22% and 51%, approximately) than in men (between 10% and 15%, more or less). Paradoxically, among the couples that visit a sexologist to solve this type of problem, it is the male who has the symptoms. Perhaps, the female’s lack or loss of sexual desire is still being undervalued. When the man is who shows the symptoms it causes great alarm. In any case, with adequate guidance the couple can restore a satisfactory sexual life.
It is also true that many of the couples that visit us because of lack of sexual desire tend not to understand very well what is going on in their relationship. Sometimes, the loss of “sexual drive” is some kind of “hodgepodge” to refer to the various difficulties that the couple is facing.
This problem requires to be solved requires of a very skillful and experienced sexologist. In order to deal with the real problems and help the partners in the right direction, it is necessary the help of an experienced specialist.
In the cases with a diagnosis of “inhibited sexual desire” it is advisable to work with both partners. Results are often gradual, but very satisfactory. There is no pharmaceutical product that can cure this problem.
As in the case of other sexual disorders, the problem has always been there (primary) or acquired along the way (secondary). This problem is generalized when it has no sexual interest in another persona and under no circumstance. It is situational if there is no interest in the partner, but the person feels stimulation by other people o by masturbation.
In inhibited sexual desire, the lack of erotic feelings can lead to perceive the sexual relations as something unpleasant, and even aversive. It is important to underline that on some occasions, more than inhibited sexual desire, there simply exists a discrepancy in the levels of sexual interest in the partners.
Among the most frequent causes can be high degrees of stress in daily life and the lack of time for leisure. For many couples, every activity is scheduled, except spaces for sexual pleasure and intimacy.
It is also true that conflicts in a couple often hamper sexual drive. The un balance in decisions’ taking between partners can be a part of the cause for this problem. On the other hand, there are people who have serious difficulties to establish emotional links. Commitment and closeness can scare them. Thus, the fusion implied by the sexual intercourse can make them anxious.
Another cause of the lack of sexual desire can be the inadequate choice of partner. We have to remember that among the criteria to choose an emotional partner may not include the erotic or sexual ones. Often the individual undervalues the importance of sexual chemistry and activity. For many couples, passion is not necessarily an important consideration when choosing the person with whom the formalize a relationship.
Moreover, an inadequate sexual education, together with negative attitudes towards sex can erode sexual desire and generate a difficult context for a healthy expression of sexuality.
Lack of sexual desire can also be a consequence, on some occasions, of traumatic and negative sexual experiences, such as childhood sexual abuse, rape and other attempts against sexual freedom, both for girls and boys also. Those experiences can have negative repercussions in the adult lives of men and women.
It is necessary to make clear that the sexual drive in one person can oscillate considerably. That is why, to be able to talk about “inhibited sexual desire”, the problem should persist for at least a six months’ period.
It is not possible to apply the same treatment to all patients. Therefore, in Zubieta Psychology and Sexology Centre, our specialists will make sure to confect a personalized treatment, adequate depending on the needs and traits of the patient or patients.